RENEEGEDE

Greenjobbing advocates: Do the world a favor and do your part. Make it safer, healthier, cleaner and greener for everyone.

Your families will thank you and so will the ducks.

For those social misfits amongst us who don’t get along very well in corporate America and, quite frankly, never will: You are making a viable contribution to society.

There are several things to consider in green-jobbing, mainly taking a bite out “greenhouse gas emissions,” i.e., global warming; soul inspiration; causing less traffic accidents, spending more time at home with your family, being more productive on the job because you don’t need as many vacations (a vacation to you is going to the office to see the boss to get away from your family), cutting down on health care costs because you’re not exposed to free radicals and “office germs” from other cubicle patties sneezing on you and touching you with their dirty hands all day, AND…cutting down on office expenses (except for what the boss has to reimburse you for supplies that pertain to company work).

How’s that? It’s like this (and note that many of these major items will overlap to some degree):

Management Processes

*Less need for wasteful middle management types whose only job seems to be instructing the maintenance people to change light bulbs on a daily basis, except for a few home supervisors to keep track of work product and production. Your supervisors are checking on quality and output within a certain time frame and your employees are on straight salary with no overtime because they get unlimited breaks. Bonuses and merit pay can be given more generously because finances have been freed up and wasteful over-spending shaken loose in a lot of other areas…besides, it keeps potential slackers on their feet; especially if they could use the “extra” money. Those who are not diligent are just opening themselves up to be virtually fired.

Security

*More jobs for digital and technology geeks, like Citrix et al, to secure systems and processes and make sure that that company’s work is strictly going to that company; the signing of non-disclosure agreements by work-at-home employees that subject them to liability for releasing company information and client information into public airwaves (more federal and state legislation to cover these areas, just in case). Less need to actually hire more expensive salaried security guards - especially when you want to fire someone. They’re not in the “office” to be escorted out. Just be polite enough to make a phone call instead of sending an email–then cut off their access to your online tools.

Transport

*The use of transport for couriers, deliverers, and vacationers for essential use only (those who have no choice BUT to work outside the home–police, firemen, doctors, nurses, etc.), instead of heavy duty traffic and “rush hours” getting there and home five to six days a week. Cuts down on gas, saves money spent on gasoline, the back-and-forth time spent traveling, cuts down on traffic ticketing, parking tickets, fighting over parking spaces, road rage, road kill, the whole nine…since most office workers [will] work from home those days.

Office spaces

*The money saved on real estate would be phenomenal. It would force the bigger use of global HQ offices for the few executives that need to have somewhere to spend their days, plus give the employees who get tired of being at home an excuse to get out during the week to “go see the boss(es).” Redefines office space by less expensive leasing of smaller offices and/or purchasing condominiums rather than huge buildings that require security and maintenance and eat up tons of energy and electricity and gas heat that could be conserved–and cuts down on the noise pollution with employees bickering between themselves about whether it’s too hot or too cold in the office.

Health & Human Services

*Less need for or use of sick pay and sick leave. Folks are at home in their own environments and subject to their own cleanliness and safety guidelines. Takes OSHA completely out of the picture. Less risk of spreading “blue flu” and “anal glaucoma” [I can’t see my asz coming in to work today] around the office. Lowering of health insurance premiums due to less use of medical services and dilution of the chance of on-site accidents or injuries. Those of you who hate government will get a kick out of this one: No one (who employs homeworkers) will need to call the company nurse or doctor again; gone are the days of worrying about workman’s comp, at least 90% of the time.

Supplies

*Cuts down on paper and paper storage needs {the essential hardware only} due to extended digital services that cry out “save a tree.” Just make sure you keep a supply cabinet on your newly downsized premises or give your employees an expense account with a budget limit at the local Office Max or Staples. Also, have mercy on the cell phone companies and take advantage of huge corporate discounts when you need a direct line to your newly-freed mobile employees who now have all the quality family time they can stand, and then some.

There is a logical breakdown of the details of these systems and processes available, point for point, that spells it all out; but you’ll have to pay me–the ultimate social misfit, on a consultant basis–to share it with you.

In this new millennium, let us give thanks for “looking inward” and having so much available to us that makes us desk slaves and office grunges no more. ‘Thank God and Al Gore’ for the ever-increasing global digital information age.

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